Saturday, November 20, 2010


I really love Facebook. Don't you?

But I think they should add some options below the posts. Something besides LIKE. Again I am thinking of ERF and BERAP. The erf being "I can stand this post, but only barely." The berap being something between a burp and a splat.

Here's how FACEBOOK usually works for writers. And why it's so great . . . for writers. (Are writers the only ones who do this?)

Entry 1.

Wanna be my friend?

Entry 2.

We're friends! You can even look at me now! WOW! Check it out!

Entry 3:

Look at me, friend!

Here I am looking FABULOUS!!

Entry 4:

Look at me, friend!

Here I am with all the literary magazines I was published in this year! Can you believe how big the stack is! What a year! I mean, that's me on the cover of The Paris Review!

Entry 5:

Look at me, friend!

Here I am giving a reading in New York! And here I am in Seattle! And oh, here I am in LA! And here I am in Tulsa! And here I am in London!

Entry 6:

Look at me, friend! Here I am with FAMOUS POETS. I love this photo of me and the FAMOUS POETS!

Entry 7:

Look at me, Friend! I have just won a HUGE award! I AM SO GREAT! I mean, wow!!!! It's me! Me! Me!!!

Entry 8:

Look at me, friend! Here I am celebrating my BIG AWARD! Yep, that's me, looking 20 years younger in that little black dress! I know, I know. Hard to believe how fabulous I look. (Good thing you can doctor photos before you post them, but hey!)

Entry 9:

Look at me, friend! Here I am in my own new reality TV show! Living the life of a FAMOUS POET!!! See me write! See me give readings! See me with my new books! See me with my awards! See me! See me! See me! It's all about me!

I just love Facebook so much. Don't you, friend?


Suzanne Andrews said...

Why stop at writers? There's so much more to say...

The New Yorker..

Running out of Elizabeth Arden with bouncy blow-out, arms full of shopping bags, and hailing a cab in the middle of 5th avenue holiday traffic....Classic. I ♥ NY.

The next Kerouac

Insert self-referential 'Into the Wild,' Edward Abbey, and Grateful Dead quote here.. along with images of riding the rails (ie Greyhound buses), unshaved face and refer to everyone as 'townsfolk' and publicize your judgements on his or her 'kindness and openmindedness'

The aspiring diplomat

'Sipping contraband chardonnay with French and Swiss IOM, UNHCR and ASDFKJOE officers on a rooftop in Khartoom.'

The triathelete

4x4000 reps with 3:00 rest, 32k bike at medium effort, 16x150 sprints. So hardcore.

The grad student

klasjfljsf thesis, @#$!($@($ thesis, #@@#%$#$%,

Jesus Crisis said...

I love it (your blog - and Facebook)!