yet another tale of childhood humiliation.
When I was about 4 years old, my mom decided I needed to learn social skills. Growing up on a farm, I had never been to a friend's house. So she arranged for me to visit a girl in a nearby neighborhood: Sharon Love.
It was a short visit.
I remember Mom walking me in the back door which opened into the kitchen, and then saying goodbye, maybe wondering if I was going to cry or follow her. I was happy to stay at the Loves, though I don’t think I ever made it past the kitchen. I remember that kitchen perfectly. It was as sparkling clean kitchen as an ad for Windex. There was a Persian cat on the counter, watching us, flicking her tail.
Shortly after my mother left, Mrs. Love served a lunch of bologna sandwiches. I had never eaten lunch meat before. Or white bread. Or store-bought mayo. I remember eating it as fast as I could, trying to get it past my tongue so I wouldn’t taste it. No sooner did it go down then it came right back up. I was really impressed. Wow, I said. That sandwich tastes the same in both directions.
My parents repeated that line at cocktail parties for months or maybe years after.
And if that story is disgusting enough, here's a great recipe for bologna cake!
1 lb. Sliced bologna
2 Tbsp. Grated onion
1 pkg. cream cheese (8oz.), softened
1 Tbsp. worcestershire sauce
1 pkg. Ritz crackers
How to make it
Mix softened cream cheese, onion and Worcestershire sauce.
Beat well.
Place a slice of bologna on a plate, spread cheese mix on.
Repeat process until all bologna is used.
Ice like a cake with rest of cheese mixture.
Cool in refrigerator.
Slice in thin slices and serve on crackers.
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