Why do people have sex anyhow? I mean, really!
According to a recent news article: "The researchers first sampled 203 men and 241 women, ranging in age from 17 to 52. They asked them to list all the reasons why they ever had sex.
They received answers from 'The person smelled nice' to 'I wanted to burn calories' to 'I wanted to get out of doing something.'"
Surely there are a few more reasons they had sex . . . How about:
1. There was no chocolate in the house.
2. It wasn't sex. It was an Anasazi rain dance.
3. I just wanted to do what I just wanted to do.
4. I hate thinking.
5. I can no longer vacillate.
6. It always makes the corn grow faster.
7. I had eaten my dinner, down to the last crumb, and was beginning to lick my fingers.
8. We were cultivating one another.
9. I thought you'd never ask. Besides, I'm no good at light-hearted banter.
10. I hate it when you start talking in bed.
11. I practice my kegels during intercourse. That way I never lose bladder control.
12. I was a geisha in a past life.
13. Do you think I don't know I'm the only real human on earth, that this is how you aliens perform experiments?
14. Whenever I close my eyes and kiss you, I see Elvis.
15. I had unharnessed my desires.
16. I live in fear of the day I will wake up and know: I will never have sex again.
17. Is there a better choice?
18. I fear dormancy.
19. It was my last resort.
20. It was research for my novel, The Reluctant Seductress.
AWP in Minneapolis, and recommended reading
4 weeks ago