A few things I learned on my recent airplane trip

1. I should like George Bush because he listens to God.
2. Airplane salad turns brown if it's not hosed down with sulfites.
3. Brad loves Angie just the way she is.
4. There are magazines called Cement and Asphalt.
5. I look like a liberal.
6. "If it weren't for those environmentalists, Wal Mart and Lowes would be doing a lot better."
7. There's a Steven Hayward who isn't Steven Hayward, the cool Canadian novelist, and who is an anti-environmentalist and a hero for the readers of Cement.
8. Airplane rides can give you deep vein thrombosis. That happens when cement enters your veins.
9. Soon your head will turn to cement too.
10. You can hear people talking even with noise-cancelling headphones on.